Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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