I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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