stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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