I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
