Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize