Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Randomize
