And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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