Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I understand Curling. That high.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
