somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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