I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize