i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
