you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
