okay pat passed out under dana's car
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
