Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
