I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
And then he peed in my hair
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