You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
