even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
