I hope mine doesn't look like that
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
