Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
And then he peed in my hair
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