ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
