So drunk, too bad you don't want this
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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