I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
