I'm going to jail i love you
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
