I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
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No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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