I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Hello my rib-scented angel!
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
