Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
