She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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