I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
