Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Tornado booty call.. dedication
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
