I want you more than these girls want KFC
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Randomize
