you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
