I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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