Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
