So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
