were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
