Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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