there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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