the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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