i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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