You don't have asthma, your pregnant
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
