we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
So many bounce houses so little time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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