New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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