hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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