My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
