Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize