Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
