God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
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