But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
