gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
