you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize