I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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