Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
