I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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