I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
