Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
