Me. At least after what I've been through.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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