If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
