love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
