so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
