hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
