Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
