So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This baby is an asshole
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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