is wine microwaveable?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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