i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize
